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Being a VICTOR. Not a Victim
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I’m not sure who said this. But I’m
sure about how it impacted my life in general. The words “be a victor, not a victim”
has affected me a great deal. When in trouble, in confusion, or in odd situations, I
make sure that I’m a victor. Being a victor means I’ve got to be in full
control of any situation. I don’t easily get upset, worried, resigned or
disappointed. I become more responsible for my actions. Blaming is not my
escape blanket. I take full responsibility for my decisions and their
corresponding consequence.
Being a victim is being a loser. A
person who is a victim would curse the government for the bad road conditions,
poor social service and all that. He would blame his immature marriage, failing
relationships and the like. I’ve been through all that. I even blamed Adam and
Eve, and I did not like it. So I chose to change and become a victor after I
heard someone talked about it in a seminar I attended.
Being a
victor is being a winner. This makes me
enjoy my day and experience sheer happiness.
I can manage my time well now. I can manage threats or unlikely
situations that come
along my way. I just think that it’s the way things are. I don’t dwell much on
things that are out of my control like death, sickness, etc. But I learn from
the lessons they teach me. I don’t spend
so much energy asking my people I around me to change to what I like them to
be. I focus on myself rather than changing things which naturally have their
own course. The first thing I can control is my life. And that’s where I can be
a victor rather than a victim.
Sleepy February
Sometimes my grammar cracks.
But I don’t give a damn. This is my world. God is not gonna
ask me one day. How was your grammar, Cliff?
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My multi
tool phone tells me it’s 3
am in the morning today and all the energies in the earth pin me
back to bed. I decided to wrap myself in white tainted sheet. I noticed my
hands try to reach for the lamp switchbox nearby my bed headboard. It wasn’t
the same as I stretched my hand at times after seven. It’s actually much
lazier. I pushed
myself to the right edge of my bed and bent a li’l
bit to put a hand on my gray backpack. I tried to slide-open the front zipper
leading to the main compartment and grabbed my heavy laptop. It wasn’t this heavy
before, I exclaimed in my head. I opened the flat machine and pressed the power
button with my index while I stretch my left hand trying to reach the farthest
I could and bended my back towards front. I could even feel myself pulling out
a deep sigh. Room seemed moving around me, waving and twirling in blurry
effect. I know I wasn’t drunk. I just took ‘bout 2 cans of smb
before I plunged myself into bed last night. Yeah, I wasn’t drunk,
I’m trying to convince myself. I even tried to bow a bit and figure out if my
brief was still on and if there are some plasti-paste
dried up or caked up on my belly button. I smiled, no,
I don’t think I had nocturnal omission. I can still feel the electric fan
whirring and giving me a shiver. Damn, I hate temperature in my room today. I
banged my hand at the switches of the poor homely fan. Well, it stopped. Now
I’m inching towards a small table at the left corner of my room. Ehhh, really cool, I have to get a shirt and put it on to
comfort me-im naked. Just brief and some pimple in my
chest stuffed my body. I gently put my laptop on the table and dragged a chair
towards my half bended length. My bottom hit the chair – slumping like a lazy
boar waiting for the next mating. I let out another sigh. Really deep sigh. I
hate being alone. I always wanted beside another woman when evening comes. ehhh. I don’t know, am I building an unusual habit already? Hmmnn,,, maybe I am sick. I prefer
to think that , well, maybe this is the normal feeling
when people are away from home. Even my popoo knows
it. It would just not come out when I am in places strange and away. Well, im in my sister’s place but, I still long for home. Place
where bed time is longer and warmer and food is smorgasbord. Ehhh.. I sighed again.. rolled my eyes up the ceiling. I
don’t know but I
closed my laptop again. Took a pillow, put it on the table, just
beside my laptop and slumped my head with temple first hitting the comfy bed
thing. That’s all I remember. Now it’s 7 am, and I feel the good mood sift
inside me.
